Dining out, in all its variety on offer, remains one of the most satisfying and essential leisure activities of them all. Sometimes a convivial affair, a celebration, or just an easy catch-up with an old friend. Sometimes, simply a solo affair, a need for comforting, familiar and favourite food.

No one can deny the considerable shift in the dining landscape in recent years after all the unfortunate forced closures, due to... you know what. The hospitality scene is doing it tougher than ever, with reduced margins, higher produce costs and staffing issues. That's a story you can read everywhere.

I'm here to write about my observations of the scene of late. The differences that have emerged but have now become so prolific that sameness is the norm. One of the greatest things about dining, the element of surprise, has considerably diminished.

These past two years have seen the restaurant menu evolve into a different beast. This is a reflection of dining today and applies to a range of eateries from small kitchens to the big-ticket players.

First up, one sentence sums up what you can expect to hear just about everywhere...

"The menu is designed to be shared”

Lovely idea in principle, breaking bread with friends and family, everyone trying a bit of this and a bit of that. Sounds nice, but after eating this way almost every time you dine out, it soon begins to grate.

The menus in question are often reasonably lengthy, and structured in a manner that would seem to indicate differences in size of dishes. This is rarely the case.

Sure, at the top are the snacky things, the per-piece bites, where each person can order individually. These bites are very popular choices, as the unwary diner treats these as the appetizers before the more substantial dishes arrive. This is where the $6 a piece oyster and the $14 each scallop in some fancy butter or emulsion appear. The salumi, the bread, the one-or two bite mouth-popping delights.

Next on the menu comes the list of around 10 - 16 or so dishes made up of vegetables and proteins, prices increasing as you scroll down the page.

A good proportion of diners in a group will ask how many would be appropriate for the table. The server will ask "how hungry are you?". The majority will answer "fairly hungry", not wanting to appear gluttonous. Rarely will you hear "we're starving", which is always a ridiculous statement.

Then, in most cases, you will be advised that the menu after the bites at the top start with slightly smaller dishes, of which form the bulk of the menu, so as to have the diner choose more from this section. Then the menu will lean to some slightly larger dishes. Here, you will usually find a fish fillet, a steak and perhaps a chop or a duck dish.

So, for a group of say, four of you, you will probably be advised that around 8 or so of the dishes would be about right. Now depending on the restaurants choice of how much goes on the plate, you could end up with either too little or too much for your group.

Let's face it - all restaurant dishes have reduced in portion size to quite an extent. It is often not easy to see much variation between those in the body of the menu and those at the bottom.

This is all fine, and the food works, sure. Lots of yummy things to try. A bit of everything. However, I lament the main course. There is something special about ordering your own meal, a dish you adore, and having it all to yourself. How great it is to not have to spend half your time at dinner passing plates around from one to the other. Then sometimes, either missing out on your share of a dish entirely, or just having the last skerrick, barely enough to be able to have tasted the dish at all.

How about rather than announcing that the menu is made for sharing once you have been seated, the restaurant makes itself known to be in that style, markets itself as so, so you can CHOOSE to go to that restaurant with the menu designed that way. Like this one I spotted in Europe - right there on the signage. Bravo!

These "share design" menus are tricksters. Apart from the sizing, they are designed with the knowledge that most people order from the top and middle, more affordable sections. You can try more of the dishes accordingly. The so-called larger dishes are often only marginally so, but the prices are considerably higher. The avoidance of the "main" plates allows the restaurant to do better by an over-ordering of the smaller choices.

A rather extreme example I encountered with friends recently in Lisbon, Portugal, advised us quickly and almost insisted that the five dishes we ordered (there were three of us) would certainly not be enough. We would need at least ten. Ten!

We stuck to our guns and said we would order more if we were still hungry. We were in the end, as at this restaurant, one of the finest in the city, ALL of the dishes were the same size. I would classify them all as small entrees. The prices were high indeed.

OK, we had a couple of bottles of wine, so the bill reflected that. But the cost of such tiny dishes surprised us. One petit mouthful per plate was all that was on offer. Sure enough, after devouring the lovely wines, I had a reasonable hunger after we had left the restaurant. Not good. The dishes were just too small for our lunch. I snuck off and, holding my head in shame, ducked into a hole-in-the-wall and had three delicious pizza slices, just to get to the 80% full mark that I try and live by these days.

Menu in question. Note the pricing. Only the 450g Sirloin was a larger dish. The bites at the very top, just that. The rest were uniform - small. This is in Euros.

Acorn fed Alentejano Pork, potato, ham & turnip tops (€21)

Entrees (or appetizers for the American readers) and Mains (or entrees for the American readers) are blurred lines on so many restaurant menus today. Confusion reigns. You are at the mercy of the clever restauranteur.

Prices across the board have risen so high that diners’ patterns have been forced to change. The unease of this sometimes makes the experience a lesser one. As a result, diners eat out less often, and spend careful consideration at table to order less, the hip pocket firmly in mind.

This is where we are today. It's not greed by the restaurant by any shot, in most cases. It's an adapting to how to make ends meet in an ever more costly dining landscape.

Eating out now is a minefield. Set menus also prevail if you are in a group of eight or more. The luxury of freedom has disappeared. If you do happen to choose a restaurant with an old-school menu of entrees, mains, and desserts for individual ordering, you have to battle with the add-on items. Why order just the steak and sauce only - now you must balance the meal with extra vegetables and a a carb. Bang - the $55 "main" becomes closer to $90+, with the $16+ each side dish to create the complete dish.

How pleasant it would be to turn up and be presented with a menu with four entrees, four balanced mains with protein and veg and carb included, and dessert to follow. Where you could order for yourself, and your companions doing the same. The server going around the table: “and for you Sir?”, and you’d respond “I’ll have the ravioli, then ….I’ll have the salmon”. Your fellow diners surprised at your selections, or perhaps wanting to change theirs, having food envy and the fear of not making the right choice. Remember that? It was fun! These menus still exist, but they are harder and harder to find.

Do we always want a bunch of small plates when we go out to dine? Do we ALL have to agree on what we are ALL having? Do we really need to have to try so much of the menu? I always considered it a good thing to have an entree and a main course of my choice, and then, if the food was excellent, look forward to a return visit to the restaurant to try some of the other dishes. Remember when it was so tricky to choose a dish when a menu was structured that classical way? Now the pressure is on to choose the best out of a far greater range of smaller choices.

Let me tell you it is so much fun going to a “sharing” restaurant when you dine solo. The whole concept simply doesn’t work. So, you can finally choose as you please. You’ll never be told to order 8+ dishes. Heaven.

Things are different now of course. That point again…people dine out less and spend less. This is where we are.

Now, and maybe forever…

"the menu is designed to be shared"