OK, so it’s best to say at the outset that this article concerns the Australian national carrier, Qantas. Before you decide not to read any further, I can assure you that I'm not jumping on the barrage of massive (and well deserved) complaints bandwagon that has been so prevalent in the media of late. This little tale concerns one simple thing that is a staple onboard the airline, that I personally feel warrants a disagreeable mention.

It's the side salad. Yep, this is about that most simple of items that makes a compulsory appearance on the dining tables in all cabins on all flights of the fleet.

It must be said first off, that, like so many International airlines, the food and beverage on offer has had deep short cuts in both quality and quantity these past couple of years. Qantas has taken considerable flack in this department and rightly so.

When Australian chef royalty Neil Perry first became the airline ambassador, the food and wine at the pointy end was innovative, delicious, varied, and plentiful. This is when the salad in question first appeared.

It is known as the "Salad of Green Leaves with Neil's Vinaigrette".

The salad arrives, at least in Business Class, at the point when the table is adorned, either alongside the appetiser (when there is one) or when the main course is about to arrive.

The salad consists of a tiny bowl of small mixed green leaves, usually comprising some baby spinach, some of that annoying stringy type of lettuce that gets stuck in your teeth, and some rocket. On some occasions, some red flecked lettuce may make an appearance. There are none of the luxurious soft leaves, like Butter Lettuce, or Cos. They wouldn't fit in the tiny bowl and I imagine they’re considered too costly for Qantas to include at every meal service.

The leaves are no better, nor to my mind any fresher, than those you pick n' mix with tongs into plastic bags at the local supermarket. That presents as a sad state of affairs. The dressing, "Neil's Vinaigrette”, is simply a small, separate bottle of EVOO mixed with balsamic. Nothing exceptional. Could be from anywhere. From any cheap bottle. Who knows? The flavour is bland.

Was the salad any better during the best of Qantas' International flying days, many moons ago? When the nation had faith and loyalty to the airline? I am not sure. Probably. No doubt the salad is now a shadow of its former self.

Having flown a smattering of Qantas flights of late, the catering still leaves much to be desired. Those once loyal to Qantas cannot understand how Australia's most famous chef, Neil Perry, can stand by and see his name paraded proudly amongst some of the worst meals in the skies. He should have disassociated a long time ago if he wanted to maintain some dignity. To this day, he remains the head of Qantas' food and beverage department. Surely, he wouldn’t want to put his name to the lacklustre, microwaved, less than pub standard offerings on regular rotation?

The salad is the saddest glaring example here. That and the bread. Let me paint the scene. Down the aisle comes the flight attendant, pulling out a wicker basket covered in cotton napkins folded over, hiding the contents as if to announce something wondrous underneath. Pulling the flaps aside, there is the bread, that same old sliced bread, looking forlorn and bored, the ubiquitous and frankly now quite dull Sourdough. Always average at best, the bread is often not warm, and with so many holes that the bread content is minimal.

It is presented as something special. That and the side salad, on small china plates, presenting as posh, but simply ordinary. Neither the bread nor the salad have any flavour. They add nothing to the dining experience. Here’s another shot of the salad and the bread, this time alongside a main course, in Business Class. Take a good look at the table and the presentation. Extremely average right? Calling it uninspired is being too kind.

For over two decades now both the salad and the bread have been staples on the menu and are so familiar to frequent flyers and to many, now quite laughable. At what point does an airline mix up the menu and present fresh, alternative options? Can we not have a choice of breads, like on other airlines? Could the cost of Business Class airfares not allow us this?

More effort is put into the seasonal food menus of the Qantas First class lounges, which is where any sensible high-flyer will fill up their stomachs, avoiding the inevitable disappointment at mealtime on the flight.

I know it seems crazy to be so upset about something so simple, but that is the very problem. These are cheap, flavourless additions that do no favours to regularly boring meals on the airline. I am not alone in pointing out the necessity to retire this yawn of a “salad”. Below is a recent review I discovered in an article on Qantas Business Class on one of it’s tired planes.

Please Mr. Perry. Look at what is happening under your supposed watch on Qantas flights. Either improve on it dramatically or reduce your own footprint on the menus. The salad is the glaring item that could so easily be improved upon. Salads can be wonderful, crisp, fresh, flavourful and interesting. They are a healthy addition to what should be a balanced meal in the sky. This green leaves number onboard is very tired. It's time for it to go. No-one will miss it. That is most certain.